The Real Reason
by iloveromance
Summary: Losing a big court case was hard enough but even harder was trying to understand why she'd lost her best friend. (Episode:"We The Juries")


_**A/N: I've been watching a marathon of Season 5 for the past few days and it pains me to see Alicia and Will at odds with one another. Since I haven't yet seen every episode, I'm sure there's a valid reason for why they are acting this way, but this story is just an AU version of how this particular episode could have been resolved.** _

Judge Fleigel stared at Alicia and tented his fingers. "So, what's the purpose of this meeting, Mrs. Florrick?"

"Juror misconduct, your Honor."

The judge's eyebrows rose. "Really? In what way?"

"In every way, your Honor! One of my jurors was in the hallway conferring with one of Mr. Garder's jurors after they both heard testimony on separate occasions!"

"And?"

"And something like this could completely-."

"Your honor, I have no idea what Mrs. Florrick is talking about."

Alicia's mouth fell open in disbelief and she stared at the man she once loved; the man, whom if she were to be honest with herself, she would always love. "H-how can you stand there and lie-."

"I'm not lying, Alicia!" he yelled. "Damn it! Don't patronize me!"

"Patronize? I never-."

"Both of you get out now, or I'll hold you in contempt and fine you more money than you ever thought possible!" Judge Fleigel ordered.

"I-I'm sorry your Honor." Alicia grabbed her purse and stole a quick glance at Will Gardner, trying not to notice how handsome he was, trying not to remember how his lips felt on hers, his body-

She headed for the door brushing past him, never daring to look at him again. To look at him would mean…

No. She wouldn't do this. She couldn't let him get to her yet again. She'd done it so many times….

In the lobby she felt a strange sense of freedom and she was grateful for the nearby chair that sat in a secluded corner. She was certain that the trial was lost and there was no sense in going back in there, knowing that she was going to lose. She wasn't used to losing cases and neither was Cary.

It would be so easy to pin the blame on him, for not arguing the right points, for being swayed by the juries, for not preparing enough. But it would be wrong. Just as it would be wrong to blame Robyn for not digging deep enough to find the answers they so desperately needed to make their case. No, Alicia had no one to blame but herself.

The chair was hidden away from the open areas and she wondered why it was there. But she took full advantage of it as she sat down, forcing herself to relax. But she couldn't stay still, not until she found out how things had gone so wrong. They were so close to winning; so close. And now this.

Damn him.

Damn Will Gardner for loving her-if in fact he ever had.

Damn her for loving him back.

A shadow fell upon her and she looked up to find herself staring into his eyes.

Damn.

She blinked, realizing at that moment she'd been crying and it was hard to ignore the lump in her throat when he handed her his handkerchief. "Thanks."

"No problem."

She blotted her eyes and carefully folded the cloth, handing it back to him. But she could not look at him. "So, did you come to gloat? You won, isn't that what you wanted? My client is going to jail for ten years and you get all the credit."

"No, actually-."

"Then why are you here?" she demanded. "To rub it in that I'm a terrible lawyer? Well, I'll have you know that I'm a good lawyer, Will Gardner! A damn good one!"

"You're an amazing lawyer, Alicia. I've known that since… well, Georgetown."

"Then, why, Will? Can you just answer me that?"

"Why what?"

"What happened to us?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Ever since I left Gardner/Lockhart, you've been angry, distant-."

"Well what about _you_?" He snapped.

When she began to cry softly he softened, handing her his handkerchief once more. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-."

"What happened to us? We used to love each other, used to be best friends. What happened? I thought we could still be friends, but I guess I was wrong."

"No. You're not wrong. And don't blame yourself about any of this because… well the fault is mine."

She scoffed. "Right. How could Will Gardner possibly be to blame for any-."

"But it's true, Alicia. I thought I was over you. I really did. I wanted to be. But I can't. I-I think about you all the time, even when I'm with other people. And when I found out that you were leaving to start your own firm with Cary, I don't know, I just… I couldn't handle it."

"In what way? Don't tell me you were jealous."

"Crazy jealous. Not of Cary per say but of the fact that you'd be with other people and I wouldn't be able to see you anymore. I've been cruel and hurtful and I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to act so selfish when what I should have done was simply tell you the truth. After all, we're both lawyers, and we advise people to tell the truth all day."

Alicia couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That's true, but-."

He knelt down and took her hands, staring into her eyes, the way he'd done so many times before. "Alicia, I love you. I've never stopped loving you. And even if you don't love me, I still want us to be-."

With little regard for anyone who might be watching, she cradled his face in her hands and kissed him. "I do love you, Will. I do. And I'm sorry for leaving. I just-."

"I'm proud of you, Alicia. You did it and you did it well. I think you're going to be very successful. And I promise no more wars between us, ever. We've worked on opposite sides before and we can do it again. But we'll do it as friends."

"And lovers." She whispered.

He moved to kiss her again, but she put her fingers over his lips. "Not here." She whispered. "Come on."

He took her hand and helped her to her feet as they walked out of the building and to her car. "Cary's going to be furious with me. I should have gone back into the courtroom and conferred with he and Robyn. Some partner I am."

"He'll understand."

"Are you sure about that?"

"He knows how we feel about each other."

"But things are different now, Will."

"I know. But I'm going to do my damndest to get them back to the way they were."

She kissed him again… and again. "I love you."

He sighed deeply and gathered her into his arms. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to hear you say that. And I love you too. And I'm so sorry-."

"No more _I'm sorry's_. We can save that for the courtroom."

"But I want to apologize. I _need_ to apologize."

"It's not necessary."

"All right. But can I at least try to get you to understand how much I love you and how much I've missed you?"

"I think that could be arranged."

He grinned, looking like a little boy. "Great. So I'll meet you at my place in, say 30 minutes?"

She opened the back door of her car and they climbed inside; rekindling the passion that they thought they had lost. And when he was breathless he drew back and stared at her. "God, Alicia. What the hell was that?"

She loosened his tie and slid it from around his collar, kissing him once more. "Just a preview of what's to come."

THE END


End file.
